Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Missing

My decision to move here to follow my soul's passion is testing me in ways I didn't anticipate. I have everything I need to succeed long term: patience, stamina and determination. However, I find myself missing the people I have grown to love over the last seven years in southern California, and my people back in nor Cal. It will be worth it I know; I'm just feeling the distance right now. Time to kick it into gear, yeah?

This goes out to my favorite people in no specific order starting with the friends: Marvin, Kristin, the new Mrs. Aguilar, Will, G, Bob, Mark, Willy, Ana, Holly, Bling (Chris, fine I said it), Rach, Derek (and Jo), Kizzle, PZ, Fabunismus, Alexa, Koma, AdavBigRed, Smitty, Mad Dog, the rest of the crew.

The fam: Dad (who I'm very glad to have nearby), Momma, Russ, John, Wolfram (I couldn't be happier about your arrival and plans to stay), Malcolm, Heidi, Julie and Scott, Pam, Gary, Emery, Rosie, Jesus and Rainette, etc.

I'm hoping this can do some justice. I know it will make me feel a little better.

The late nights, the early mornings,
Deep conversations and timely bullshit warnings.
That time I tried to let go of my sanity,
You reminded me to silence the panic inside me.

A decision made, a thousand more to make,
I try to remember to give more than I take.
It's not as easy without you here,
I grew so accustomed to having you near.

It's not always painful, and sometimes seems fleeting,
But it's hard not knowing the next time we'll be meeting.
Investing in the future sometimes seems fatal,
Even so I'm certain that with patience I'll be grateful.

For everything we've done together or apart,
I know that living well is a true form of art.
In everything I've done, know I've tried my best,
To thank you for literally being the best.

Not usually with a card or a dollar invested,
Time spent is the currency of this market life-tested.
To think I may not have done enough,
Is the fear that haunts me and makes daydreams rough.

You're best human being I could ever have asked
To think me worthy of your time that's passed.
I hope you understand, know and feel,
That I would do anything to be your shield.

From pain, suffering, anguish and attack,
That I could feel for you, the knives aimed at your back.
To be someone you trust with yourself and your soul,
I will do anything, to help you keep yourself whole.

I know I haven't always been the most stellar,
Friend, colleague, companion or bullshit detector.
I just want you to know, from my truth to yours,
I will strive to be everything you need, want, and deserve.

It almost never seems that I have kept,
My end of this mutual bargain we've decided to accept.
I hope that eventually, I'll know for sure,
That I've done my part; you sure as hell have done yours.